Do You Know How to Play Poker Professionally?

First, let’s go over the rules of poker. – [Orange] Ah, rules are for tools, Pear! Let’s do this thing. I’m all in.

– [Pear] All in? Dude, we haven’t even dealt the cards. We don’t even have a table to play on yet. – [Orange] (chuckles) Yeah, definitely get a table. Poker pro tip, if things don’t go your way, just flip the table (laughs)!

This also works for other aspect of your life. If a test goes poorly, flip your desk! If you’re stuck in traffic, flip your car! – Orange! – What? Jeez, why are you flipping out (chuckles)?

– [Pear] Ugh, Orange, you can’t go around flipping stuff over if things don’t go your way. – [Orange] Yeah, watch me. (Orange groans) – [Pear] No no, I really mean it, you can’t. I nailed our poker table to the floor. – [Orange] Ah, that’s so flipping uncool (chuckles)! – [Pear] We’re playing this game by the rules.

Rules we’re gonna learn right now. Now, in poker, your collection of cards is called your hand. – [Orange] Woo hoo! Finally got a hand after all these years! I’m gonna grab all sorts of stuff! A grab bag!

A touchdown pass! The edge of this table so I can flip it! – [Pear] Still nailed to the floor. – [Orange] Oh yeah, I forgot. – [Pear] Yeah, I’m sorry, dude, but it’s not that kind of hand.

Now, the best hand you can get in poker is called a royal flush. – [Orange] And that’s when you put your opponent’s cards in a super fancy toilet (chuckles)! – [Pear] No, no! No it is not! Now, the next best hand is a straight flush.

– [Orange] And that’s when you flush your opponent’s cards in a normal, no-frills toilet! – [Pear] No it is not, ugh! Okay.

Now then. Other types of hands include– – [Orange] Right hands, left hands, the Hamburger Helper hand, Hand Solo– – [Pear] Would you stop? We’re talking about poker hands, Orange! Now, we have a lot of ground to cover. Are you gonna behave this way while we go over chips?

– Like Doritos? – And blinds? – I prefer vertical.

– [Pear] And the river? – [Orange] M-I-S-S-I-S-S I-C-U-P!! (Orange chuckles) (Pear groans) I kid, I kid. I actually know all the poker terms.

I’m a bit of a card shark. – [Pear] Oh, is that so? Tell me one poker term, Orange.

Right now. – [Orange] TNT? – Nope.

– Uh-huh! That’s when things don’t go your way and you blow up the poker table with TNT. – [Pear] No, that is not a poker term. – [Orange] The way I play it it sure is (chuckles)! – [Pear] Ugh, Orange!

If you get bad cards in poker, that’s fine. You don’t blow up the game. You bluff. – Huh? – You bluff! – [Orange] You’re sick, you know that?

There’s no need to point out that I’m naked. – [Pear] I said bluff, not buff. – [Orange] Oh!

– [Pear] Bluffing is when you pretend to have better cards than you have. – [Orange] Oh, so bluffing is lying? – [Pear] Basically, yeah. – [Orange] Gotcha. Okay, well then, I guess there’s no need for me to blow up the table now.

– [Pear] All right, glad to hear it. – Psych, I was bluffing! – What?